depressed

there are three matters that keep me alive until now. first, i know if i die, i will regret it. too many things i wanna do in my life. second, it's my father's words, he said, 'if it wasn't because of God, maybe i was died long ago.' somehow his words hit me and make me think twice. at least, i still have God. third, i'm scared about demise.

i've been really depressed lately. someone keeps nagging me about something. i always had that frown on my face. when i'm at school, or home, everywhere. everything just doesn't feel right.

school didn't help much either. school isn't a place to forget my problems anymore, i think school just adding fuel on fire. actually i always love to go to school, it's a place where i can smile and laugh freely with my friends. but now i don't mind being bedridden, i don't mind skipping school. the only thing that makes me keep coming is mid-test, yeah, it's mid-test season. and i have too much assignment.

y u no just leave me alone, assignments.

but i prefer to feel lonely and being alone than to feel depressed. loneliness loves me, and i used to feel lonely and alone. physically i'm not alone, but mentally, i am. i really, really miss that time, the second semester of tenth grade.

sorry for the gloomy post and grammar error. writing in english, however, is something i haven't yet mastered. and i don't think i will master it anytime soon.